Inspiration comes from those around me.

By no stretch have I experienced much in this world. I've only lived in one state, in one city. This 'disadvantage' aside, I have been blessed in knowing some of the most amazing people on the big blue and green ball we call home.

I have decided to do a few posts on people who have come into my life and changed it. When I say I have been blessed, I have no other word to describe the miraculous luck I have had. Not only do I have a family that loves me in spite of all my dithering mistakes and faults, I have met and grown close to people who astound and mesmerize me every day.

I could go on for hours in looping tangents, but it might be best if I start with two people. Over three years ago, during an anime club meeting, I met these two. At the time, neither they nor anyone else knew that one day, they'd be married before their friends and family in a two day long ceremony, to become Mr. and Mrs. Donald Slauson.

My earliest and strongest memory of Jaya Prasad-Slauson is of her in cosplay. To those who are unfamiliar with that term, cosplaying is dressing up as your favorite character from a show or movie. I remember seeing her, swathed in a large Akatsuki cloak, her visible skin painted a striking blue, with a giant wrapped sword propped strapped to her back. I think I might still have a picture floating around somewhere of it. Short black slashes were painted across both cheeks, reflecting the gills on the character, Kisame. I barely knew Jaya at this point, only knowing she was of the Hindu religion. For some reason, I felt brave enough to make a tongue in cheek joke about her dressing up as Krishna. She took the joke well and forgave me, thankfully.

My first impression of Donald was not in costume, but as a Zombie Apocalypse Enthusiast. He was the man with the plan, and a crowbar. Not to mention an impossibly large collection of Magic: The Gathering cards. I remember him most from the circles we'd form on the lawn during Anime club, doing round robin discussions of shows and characters.

Sometime between meeting these two and when Donald got hired at my workplace, the best thing in the world happened between these two friends. Donald mustered his courage and asked Jaya out on a date. My happiness for them then has only exponentially grown, as I have had a front row seat to a deep and abiding love story.

I had the pleasure of living with Donald and Jaya for a year in a cute two bedroom apartment here in Ocala. That year is remembered in midnight Wal-Mart trips, Denny's runs after work, and silly games. Donald would let me borrow his car if I closed when he wasn't scheduled, or if I had to go help my Dad at his house after he lost his car. I lost count of how many different ways they helped me in that year.

My respect for these two people is only rivaled by my envy of their happiness. I've seen Donald go from spitting mad from idiocy at work, to the most jovial, from just a phone call from Jaya. When Jaya would stay the night at my first apartment, I fell asleep more than once hearing the soft sound of her talking to her beau. I can only hope on day to have what they have, a partner who respects and completes me in the same way.

This post isn't meant to be all mushy and bleh. Its a thank you and a promise, because recently Jaya has moved back in with me, as her husband is going on his first 8 month tour on an air craft carrier as an engineer in the United States Navy. I've been entrusted with the most important aspect of Donald's life, tasked with keeping her company and cheering up my good friend when her spirits are low.

The inspiration for this post is just that. Jaya called to me when she needed nothing more than a hug. I dragged her downstairs for a cup of my awesome homemade hot chocolate. The rest of the evening passed with my customary horrible jokes and silliness, a sure fire way to make Jaya laugh, and a good movie. I consider it a job well done when Jaya asked me to make her this hot chocolate again if she was down again. I even got a full fledged laugh out of her. 

I thought I'd include a copy of the recipe for my hot chocolate below, as well as my brownie recipe, to bulk up on the chocolateness of the post.

"Bad Day, All Better" Hot Chocolate

1 1/2 c whole milk
1 c heavy cream
2 tbsp. sweetened condensed milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp. cocoa powder
1/2 c dark chocolate chips

You will need a whisk and a medium sauce pan.

In a separate bowl, mix cocoa powder and cinnamon into the sweetened condensed milk until it is smooth. This will help the powder mix smoothly into the liquid mixture.

In the sauce pan, heat the milk and heavy cream on medium heat. If you have a numbered dial like I do, I'd suggest between 4 and 5. You don't want to scald the milk, but bring it to a low heat, just enough to melt chocolate.

When the milk is warm to the touch, whisk the condensed milk mixture into the pan, stirring constantly to keep everything smooth. Bring the heat to just above medium.

When you can see the milk starting to steam just a little, add in the chocolate chips, 1/4 c at a time. Whisk until all of the chips have melted, then add the next 1/4 cup.

Keep whisking for about 5 minutes on the heat, constantly stirring. When all of the chocolate has been melted and mixed in, remove from heat and pour into your favorite mug. If you like mint, add a peppermint stick as a stirrer.

Enjoy!

"Take a Moment" Brownies

1 box chocolate pudding mix
2 c sugar
1 c butter (or two sticks)
1/2 c cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
1 1/2 c All Purp flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 bag dark chocolate chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk

for the ganache topping:
1 cup heavy cream
3 cups dark chocolate chips

you will need a 9x13 baking pan, a whisk, bowl, plastic straw, and a spoon. I suggest cracking the eggs into a bowl before beginning. Preheat the oven to 350 and don't forget to liberally grease your baking pan.

Combine the salt, cocoa, pudding mix, and baking soda and set aside.

Warm the butter to room temperature and cream together with the sugar.

Add the vanilla

Mix in the combined dry ingrediants, still leaving the flour aside.

Add in the eggs, a little at a time.  Mix until smooth.

Slowly add in the flour, by 1/2 c measures. Be careful to avoid over mixing, or your brownies will come out tough.

When the flour is completely incorporated, add in your bag of chocolate chips. This is where you take charge of your own destiny. If you chose a big 1 lb bag or a 12 oz bag, the choice is yours. Fold in chips with a few as possible strokes.

Pour the batter into the greased pan. Smooth the top a little and bake for about 25 minutes.

While the brownies are baking. start your ganache topping.

In a small sauce pan, heat the heavy cream on medium heat until bubbles just being to form around the edge, but DO NOT BOIL IT.

Add in chocolate chips slowly, stirring constantly.

After all the chips are added, keep whisking the chocolate to create a smooth velvety texture. If you happen to see your chocolate has a slightly grainy texture, whisk in 1 tbsp. of heavy cream in. Take the ganache off the heat and set aside.

When the brownies are out of the oven, take your straw and poke holes all over it. Have at least 1 hole per square inch. When the holes are complete, pour the can of sweetened condensed milk over top the brownies, letting it soak into the holes. Cover the pan with tin foil and let it rest for 10 mins.

Take this time to re whisk your ganache.

Remove the cover to your brownies and pour the ganache over the brownies. Smooth carefully with a spoon or icing spatula if you have one.

Let chill over night then cut and serve.

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It's been a while since I took the time to post here. I've been fretting and worrying about posting something on here. Some of the reasoning was "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow", or "I can't write anything good, so I'll just forgo posting tonight.".

I'm sorry.

I'll be trying to get back to my regular schedule of posting 5 nights a week.

Don't overdose on chocolate and cocoa if you try these recipes, lovelies.

Sleep well and Sweet Dreams.

I should be canonized as the Saint of Stupid, You Buggered that One Up.

Originally, the title of this post was going to be "Should and Shouldn't are just words". During the process of typing this little thing, I typed the phrase that is now the title. It made me giggle, even though it really isn't that complementary. The point is, I feel like this a lot. Mostly, because I worry so much about should and shouldn't; What people tell me and what I think.

There are a lot of things I know I shouldn't do, for various reasons. I also know there are things I should do, that I can't seem to get past the conceptual stage.

There are things like I shouldn't eat junk food, or I should budget my money better. I think for the purposes of improving myself, these are too over simplified. If I were to attempt to improve myself.

I know I shouldn't take criticism personally. Most of the time, the person talking to me wants to see me do well, instead of trying to trip me up. I know I should take a deep breath when I am stressed and think for just a moment. The answer will come. I shouldn't make a unpromoted blog just to whine about how mean people are to me or how much I let my paranoia take over. I should talk to the person I am feeling frustrated or alienated by.

I shouldn't let the perceived opinions of those around me rule my every though. I should realize the people who matter don't think I'm ugly or stupid. I should keep living my life like I don't need someone to validate my existence.

I should stop I shouldn't focus so much on sentence structure vs intent when it comes to typing that text message or email. Sometimes, a period is just a period, not an implication of anger or disappointment. I shouldn't delete this entire post, just because I am nervous at not being understood. Nor should I chicken out just because someone might just be reading this to make fun of me. I should remember that these thoughts are more universal than those damn shampoo and cat food commercials make it seem.

I should take a moment out of my day off to drive to Summerfield and say hi to my mom. For no good reason. I should take the time to send a personal text to people I adore but just don't hear from any more. I shouldn't expect them to text me back. It shouldn't be about the return, only the giving.

I shouldn't contradict myself. I dislike it but I do. I say one thing, then when it comes to light I am so radically, so perfectly wrong, in such a way I should be canonized as the Saint of Stupid, You Buggered that One Up. At this moment, my pride kicks in and I pop out with that anthem of stupidity. That glowing song of "I didn't say that" or "I don't remember doing that." I shouldn't hate myself for those moments. I should forgive myself and let it pass. I shouldn't dwell on my mistakes as much as I do. The last person to forgive me is always me.

I should let it go when I am hurt or insulted by others. Just take another deep breath. Its never worth it. What is losing my temper or running off at the mouth going to accomplish? Say it with me: Absolutely nothing.

I guess the biggest thing I should do is remember that I can do anything if I just slow down and focus. I shouldn't get impatient or rush through, because that just invites me to mess up and get discouraged. Even if I mess up, I shouldn't give up. Even if I keep messing up, I will eventually get it right and every mess up is a lesson. Not that I have the grace to know that in the moment.

Just the above portion of this post took me almost 2 hours to write. It is deceptively difficult to take yourself apart and say honestly what you should and shouldn't do in life. At points, I thought I would have to stop, because I was afraid I was going to cry.

I've rather burned myself out tonight for anything else for this post, so I am sorry if anyone considers this a waste of time. I do want to get back into writing actual stories and poems. I'm going to focus more on posting something small every day. Even if I only post a couplet poem about the flatulence of ducks, I'm going to post something.

Thanks for putting up with me, lovelies.